The struggle is real

If I was competing with Turkey right now,  this country would be kicking my ass. The score would be something to the equivalent of: Turkey 100, Katie 0. How exactly is Turkey doing so well you ask?  Well to begin with the mosquito bite count is now up to 30. I can't actually give an accurate number anymore because there are so many, and some are so close together they have become one big bite. Aside from that, it takes me so long to do simple tasks, and more often than not it takes me multiple attempts. Ordering a pizza by phone takes at least 45 minutes because I can't pronounce my address. Turning on the stove was a 10 minute process the other night. I went to buy toilet paper the other day and came home with paper towels.  I went to buy toilet paper again last night and came home with moldy toilet paper. I am limited to what I can cook at my apartment because I can't read the labels on the ingredients. So far the only two spices I know I can buy are red pepper (because of the way it looks) and oregano (because there was an English translation on the packet). On top of that, I have probably offended at least 10 students by using the "okay" sign with them. It is not a positive gesture here. I have used it with over 10 students, but I'm sure I didn't offend all of them... I have a soccer ball sized bruise on my thigh because I walked into a post while looking at something. I tried to buy a hair dryer the other day, but the woman at the department store didn't speak English so she kept pointing me to the brushes and hair products. And probably the most frustrating thing is that I have no idea of what goes on in my office 70 % of the time because everyone speaks Turkish. A few people speak English but at times get fed up with trying to translate because they don't have a large vocabulary. Phhewww. I think that's all.

I am amazed at how such simple things have been so difficult for me in this country! In the US I can get almost anything that I need done in no time. Going to the grocery store is a mindless task that I can accomplish in 5 minutes if need be. Here I feel like an incompetent fool. The struggle is real. 

Now it sounds like I am complaining, which I most certainly am, but I am not defeated by any means.  This is exactly what I wanted for my experience here. I wanted to put myself in an uncomfortable position and I wanted to struggle. I think it is safe to say my mission has been accomplished. Now my goal is to figure out how to make life easier and to start winning some points against Turkey. I realize that I have only been here for two weeks and that my biggest hurdle is the language barrier. I am slowly starting to pick up the language. I can do the whole introduction thing fairly easily and I have started teaching myself how to conjugate verbs. I try to figure out what the people in my office are saying.  I think in time it will start to make sense, and when it does life will become so much easier. At least I hope so.

This experience has definitely been humbling. I don't know if that is the word I want to use, but I am going with it anyway. When reflecting upon my experience here thus far I can't help but think of the numerous people that are facing somewhat similar struggles in the US. I keep thinking of the two refugee couples who I attempted to teach English. I remember taking Howeida and Jameel to Target for the first time. It was summer time and Howeida was limited in what she could buy because she was pregnant and Muslim. All of the clothes were either too revealing or not her style. The only item she bought was pants and I think she originally went there looking for shirts. I realize that I cannot totally relate to what Howeida and Jameel went through. They were forced to leave Iraq for safety reasons. The struggles I am facing are directly related to the choice I made to move to another country. I can, however, appreciate the uneasy feeling of not knowing how to accomplish simple tasks. Or the feeling of having people stare at you while you are walking down the street because they can tell you are foreign. Or coming to the realization that people are talking about you, but not knowing what they are saying. I can appreciate that feeling of just being uncomfortable in general. It is so hard especially when thinking about life in your home country. I am actually a competent person in the US. I have a freaking Master's in Education for crying out loud. None of that matters though if you can't speak the language. My broken Turkish doesn't reflect what I know or even my actual personality for that matter. It is so stressful, but in a good way.

One of the reasons I came here was to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. This experience has made me want to look for jobs where I could work with people in the US, such as immigrants or refugees. Maybe I would like teaching ESL? Or possibly working with a company such as BRIDGE, that provides services to refugees? I think my experience here will help me to appreciate, a least to a certain degree, what they are going through. I can think of simple things I wish people could do to alleviate some of my stress here. Maybe there are things I can do to help this group of people in the US? I am going to play around with this idea some more and see what my options are.

Well that is all I have for now. I must go read the AMA on reddit with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He is my one true love. Sorry Jon!